If only I can give you the same sad look that you give me.
If only I could let all my sadness out infront of you.
I cant.
Im trying really hard not to.
I hate smiling when you give me that look - but im scared that if I dont smile, I might break.
I might ask for you to take me back.
I HAVE TO STOP BEING SELFISH.

I deserve letting all of this  eat me alive.
I deserve all the comments that everyone is giving me .
I deserve anything and everything that has to do with me and being stupid.
It's okay if I cry after everyone has seen me smile, laughing, or giggle.
crying like I've lost something so important to me, that I wont every get back.
but its for jonathan, I'll pretend to smile as long as I can.
I'm sure if jonathan sees me smiling, it'll be easier for him.

it seems I cant breath clean air anymore.
AH, ohh the karma

I dont want you to wait, cos I dont know if I can.
I'll try - but like everything else, I'll probably just mess up.

All I want to see is your happy face.
It'll take time , but Im willing to let you free and have that time.

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.

I dont think he gets it.
We cant be like what we were  back then.
we arent dating anymore - only friends.
I'm scared that he's expecting more.
I dont wanna hurt him.

eehhheheheheehhee :)
I GOT BETTEER !



I swear, if my mom wakes me up JUST to eat some feakin nasty bacon - imma throw a pillow at her ! -____-
made me deaf now, THANKS MOOMM! >_<

Im just so lost.
- its funny how sensitive I am yet I can't even  feel my life falling apart.

I am lost.